I again feel lonely, even though with the friends I have. I feel like my darkness is heaping upon my chest. A mixture of emotions, hate and anger, I just don't know myself at times.
It could be that I am indeed lost myself. Lost.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Lost
Lost by Michael Buble
I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And God I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to change
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the world's crashing down
And you cannot bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And God I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to change
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the world's crashing down
And you cannot bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
The News
I’m directly annoyed and was in a bad mood the whole day yesterday til before night time. Why? It’s the news of the american bombing on Syria. I mean seriously, America will you ever stop show boating your mightiness? We can already tell that the American Dream has died since the Wall St. Crash in 1929 which was indeedly the first world depression on a economical crisis the world has ever faced. And yet today the year 2008, we are facing a economical crisis once again and yet no one has dared to point out that it’s the american’s fault of this depression. Likewise we cannot avoid the fact that history, in many cases, repeats itself many times as before. So likewise, I hate myself in predicting that before the year 3000 or 3001 that we will indeed be in a crisis which would make the world similar state of the years 1930s which took quite a large number of years to recover from the great depression likewise a approxiamately around 5 years tops.
Anyways moving on with the american bombing, which definately the most absurb action by the americans before Mr Monkey would leave his post. I mean, how could he approve of such action? Attacking Syria (sure syria and america have been in rough times in the past, but now is not the time to be engaging into war since we’re all in good terms of peaceful negeoiations we many countrie. Likewise disarmament and so on.) is an action we cannot accept, hence killing civilians which is definately the wrong thing that America has done since they’ve been doing a protection tactic for civilians over the years since their action toward Iraq, which is again yet to prove Saddam’s nuclear properties in Iraq. Which somewhat disappointment for them, they couldn’t find any.
Moving on now. I’m very much looking forward to the US elections. Why? Change hopefully. Why? I’ve been Anti-American since Bush took over as president. Why? It’s the Obama factor that’s why.
Seriously, I would have been a pro-american BUT look at their actions in the world lately. So now I would go for Mr Obama for president. Because of his charisma and his policies as well which in my perspective will sure do well in america and bring the economic crisis into a brief halt. And I am very much looking forward for this anyways. Because I had enough of The Monkey that is ruining the world.
A slight update from me:
- I am undecided to whether to Transfer back to Brunei after a year or two
- I am now aware that New Zealand is a nice option to go to (Along with Japan, Korea, Singapore and Brunei)
- I am happy today since Liverpool FC is still on top of the league table
- I’m looking forward of going to Baliwag but still I don’t know what time are we going there
- I am going to do early christmas shopping so I’ve been thinking what I should get for people…I already got Christmas cards
- I am looking forward for geology, organic chemistry, and health economics.
That is all. Byes
Anyways moving on with the american bombing, which definately the most absurb action by the americans before Mr Monkey would leave his post. I mean, how could he approve of such action? Attacking Syria (sure syria and america have been in rough times in the past, but now is not the time to be engaging into war since we’re all in good terms of peaceful negeoiations we many countrie. Likewise disarmament and so on.) is an action we cannot accept, hence killing civilians which is definately the wrong thing that America has done since they’ve been doing a protection tactic for civilians over the years since their action toward Iraq, which is again yet to prove Saddam’s nuclear properties in Iraq. Which somewhat disappointment for them, they couldn’t find any.
Moving on now. I’m very much looking forward to the US elections. Why? Change hopefully. Why? I’ve been Anti-American since Bush took over as president. Why? It’s the Obama factor that’s why.
Seriously, I would have been a pro-american BUT look at their actions in the world lately. So now I would go for Mr Obama for president. Because of his charisma and his policies as well which in my perspective will sure do well in america and bring the economic crisis into a brief halt. And I am very much looking forward for this anyways. Because I had enough of The Monkey that is ruining the world.
A slight update from me:
- I am undecided to whether to Transfer back to Brunei after a year or two
- I am now aware that New Zealand is a nice option to go to (Along with Japan, Korea, Singapore and Brunei)
- I am happy today since Liverpool FC is still on top of the league table
- I’m looking forward of going to Baliwag but still I don’t know what time are we going there
- I am going to do early christmas shopping so I’ve been thinking what I should get for people…I already got Christmas cards
- I am looking forward for geology, organic chemistry, and health economics.
That is all. Byes
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Can I have.....
Can I have this dance?
I'm inspired by this song from high school musical 3. Why? It gave me insight of the ballroom dance for pe. And I think me and KF may partner up. I can imagine the dance already and it would be slightly different from the movie. And she knows this song anyways since we watched high school musical 3 together.
the video
The song
Enjoys =)
I'm inspired by this song from high school musical 3. Why? It gave me insight of the ballroom dance for pe. And I think me and KF may partner up. I can imagine the dance already and it would be slightly different from the movie. And she knows this song anyways since we watched high school musical 3 together.
the video
The song
Enjoys =)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Should I?
I am being pressured and asked by my parents that I should transfer back to brunei. Since here in the philippines is abit well....too personal to say but expenses has been high lately...not my spending but other kinds of spending.
I am being asked by my parents and relatives whether or not I'm in a relationship with my kf since I've been helping her and planning to go out with in many days. My answer is no. Both her and I have our studies as our priority number one and we are only friends...what more can you ask from us?
I am being told that I'm an annoying person through texting and talking. Sure I am annoying but aren't you suppose to be glad that someone here is actually taking notice? And actually spending time with you? I can be repetitve over my question and reminders but this is what you call annoying? You should be glad that I'm actually reminding you and helping you.
I am being told that I'm in love. In what way? I am not in love. Falling in love right now would lead to my downfall. Sure people may claim its the happiness moments of their life but what if it's your education is on the line? Will falling in love inspire you in a way it could backfire at you when you break up? Tell me now? Being friends is enough right now rather than going further.
I am being told I think too much and worry as well. I've learned over the course of this week not to worry too much which I learned easily. However thinking is my own way. My way to get away of things no matter what. Thinking is my mental awareness of the world without my proper thinking with logic where would I be now?
I am being told that I help too much, sure I help too much but that's my way of caring for people. I love to help as much as I can especially if it's someone who really needs help. Why? It's my nature, you cannot absolutely blame my nature and way of growing up.
This is the way I am, you cannot change some parts of me that has already been embeded. This is me.
I am being asked by my parents and relatives whether or not I'm in a relationship with my kf since I've been helping her and planning to go out with in many days. My answer is no. Both her and I have our studies as our priority number one and we are only friends...what more can you ask from us?
I am being told that I'm an annoying person through texting and talking. Sure I am annoying but aren't you suppose to be glad that someone here is actually taking notice? And actually spending time with you? I can be repetitve over my question and reminders but this is what you call annoying? You should be glad that I'm actually reminding you and helping you.
I am being told that I'm in love. In what way? I am not in love. Falling in love right now would lead to my downfall. Sure people may claim its the happiness moments of their life but what if it's your education is on the line? Will falling in love inspire you in a way it could backfire at you when you break up? Tell me now? Being friends is enough right now rather than going further.
I am being told I think too much and worry as well. I've learned over the course of this week not to worry too much which I learned easily. However thinking is my own way. My way to get away of things no matter what. Thinking is my mental awareness of the world without my proper thinking with logic where would I be now?
I am being told that I help too much, sure I help too much but that's my way of caring for people. I love to help as much as I can especially if it's someone who really needs help. Why? It's my nature, you cannot absolutely blame my nature and way of growing up.
This is the way I am, you cannot change some parts of me that has already been embeded. This is me.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
ECG and so on
First of all my ECG. I've got normal! everyone happy =)
Secondly today, I got my results today! AND I PASS!
General Organic and Inorganic Chemistry 1.75
Filipino 1 1.75
English 2 Basic Communication Skills 1.75
PE 2
Social Sciences/Political Science Phil Gov and Consti 2.00
General Psychology 2.50
General Zoology 2.75
There you go.
Zoology I nearly fail...
So now let me enjoy the sembreak =)
Secondly today, I got my results today! AND I PASS!
General Organic and Inorganic Chemistry 1.75
Filipino 1 1.75
English 2 Basic Communication Skills 1.75
PE 2
Social Sciences/Political Science Phil Gov and Consti 2.00
General Psychology 2.50
General Zoology 2.75
There you go.
Zoology I nearly fail...
So now let me enjoy the sembreak =)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Heart Problem
This will slightly disturbing post, as I look back in my family background.
I listen to my grandparents and parents' stories of the history of heart problems that runs in the blood. It is depressing to even to think about it but I must explain it to all to you.
Sadly both sides of my parents has a history of heart problems, my faternal grandmother (bless her soul) I only met her once, she died due to the heart problem but I didn't she had a heart problem. Last Sunday, my dad was crying on the phone. Why? He said my condition reminds him of the death of my grandmother...sadly, it runs in the blood.
Last Saturday, after kf went home after lunch, my grandmother's request to her "I wish both of you would become like brother and sister, because Joseph has almost have no friends here in Philippines". My grandmother asked me does she knows about my condition, yes was my answered. She then tells me a story of my grand relatives, one died because of being concern of a relative's heart attack....imagine that, death by worrying and being concern...
During that week, I discovered by reading articles in the internet. The condition and problem I have is cardiac arrhythmia, sadly I am in risk of a life-threatening stroke, or even sudden death cardiac arrest....it bothered me for two days but I've been advised by the family lawyer and god-son of my grandmother that I mustn't think about it, just live on with you life and tell some of the friends that are dear to you...that's what I did...now I am wishing they don't get too worried, i know it's quite serious but I will be fine.
Now, both my parents have hypertension and grandparents as well have hyperpension....my uncle (youngest brother of my mother) and auntie (middle child of the three) has also hypertension. It does runs in the blood...but mine is different from their's....why? their's high blood pressure...mine is irregular pulsation of electrical current. And to add more to that, I have high blood pressure as well...how great is that?
My grandmother remarked to my mother on the phone last last week friday once knowing my condition. "Of all my grandchildren, why him? He's so helpful and caring. Why him? It is hard to accept that he has this. I've been hiding from him that I am crying when he is asleep, I don't want to show him that I'm weak."
My background....it does leads to this if I'm not wrong with my genetics. It has a high possiblity.
Lord, if this is my suffering. I gladly accept this faith. This is my suffering I accept gladly. I shall suffer through it all now. I pray for my family and friends who have expressed their concern. But when I'm gone...will i be remembered? My wish, when I'm gone, I will remain in their hearts I'll stand by them through it all, no matter what.
Update:
To brighten up this post, Happy 20th birthday to Lin Ji! Oct. 20th
Waking Up
Each time I wake up,
I am glad that I live,
Glad that I am,
To feel,
To see,
To hear,
My family and friends,
Each time I sleep,
I'm afraid,
This could be my end,
To feel,
To see,
To hear,
My family and friends again,
Don't leave my side,
Don't leave me,
I want to know,
You won't leave me,
You won't betray me,
You won't forget me,
Because I love you so much,
I don't want to go,
I don't want to leave,
I need to be with you,
I need to be there,
Through it all,
Saying an unsuspected good-bye,
Is painful.
To all: I wish and pray that tomorrow will be fine and finding out that it's not serious. Because I don't want to go, I don't want to be gone....I just want to say first, I love you guys. I will update you all of what happened...Just promise me this, I don't want you to worry too much, why? Whatever happens, I WILL be fine, no matter what.
Listens to Eminem's When I'm Gone
I listen to my grandparents and parents' stories of the history of heart problems that runs in the blood. It is depressing to even to think about it but I must explain it to all to you.
Sadly both sides of my parents has a history of heart problems, my faternal grandmother (bless her soul) I only met her once, she died due to the heart problem but I didn't she had a heart problem. Last Sunday, my dad was crying on the phone. Why? He said my condition reminds him of the death of my grandmother...sadly, it runs in the blood.
Last Saturday, after kf went home after lunch, my grandmother's request to her "I wish both of you would become like brother and sister, because Joseph has almost have no friends here in Philippines". My grandmother asked me does she knows about my condition, yes was my answered. She then tells me a story of my grand relatives, one died because of being concern of a relative's heart attack....imagine that, death by worrying and being concern...
During that week, I discovered by reading articles in the internet. The condition and problem I have is cardiac arrhythmia, sadly I am in risk of a life-threatening stroke, or even sudden death cardiac arrest....it bothered me for two days but I've been advised by the family lawyer and god-son of my grandmother that I mustn't think about it, just live on with you life and tell some of the friends that are dear to you...that's what I did...now I am wishing they don't get too worried, i know it's quite serious but I will be fine.
Now, both my parents have hypertension and grandparents as well have hyperpension....my uncle (youngest brother of my mother) and auntie (middle child of the three) has also hypertension. It does runs in the blood...but mine is different from their's....why? their's high blood pressure...mine is irregular pulsation of electrical current. And to add more to that, I have high blood pressure as well...how great is that?
My grandmother remarked to my mother on the phone last last week friday once knowing my condition. "Of all my grandchildren, why him? He's so helpful and caring. Why him? It is hard to accept that he has this. I've been hiding from him that I am crying when he is asleep, I don't want to show him that I'm weak."
My background....it does leads to this if I'm not wrong with my genetics. It has a high possiblity.
Lord, if this is my suffering. I gladly accept this faith. This is my suffering I accept gladly. I shall suffer through it all now. I pray for my family and friends who have expressed their concern. But when I'm gone...will i be remembered? My wish, when I'm gone, I will remain in their hearts I'll stand by them through it all, no matter what.
Update:
To brighten up this post, Happy 20th birthday to Lin Ji! Oct. 20th
Waking Up
Each time I wake up,
I am glad that I live,
Glad that I am,
To feel,
To see,
To hear,
My family and friends,
Each time I sleep,
I'm afraid,
This could be my end,
To feel,
To see,
To hear,
My family and friends again,
Don't leave my side,
Don't leave me,
I want to know,
You won't leave me,
You won't betray me,
You won't forget me,
Because I love you so much,
I don't want to go,
I don't want to leave,
I need to be with you,
I need to be there,
Through it all,
Saying an unsuspected good-bye,
Is painful.
To all: I wish and pray that tomorrow will be fine and finding out that it's not serious. Because I don't want to go, I don't want to be gone....I just want to say first, I love you guys. I will update you all of what happened...Just promise me this, I don't want you to worry too much, why? Whatever happens, I WILL be fine, no matter what.
Listens to Eminem's When I'm Gone
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Alas
At last, EXAMS finished and it's Sembreak! woohoo! but...results comes out next week! O_O
And i'm getting my check up including scan this monday, KF coming along.
I have to help KF with her psychology after her math exam...yes I'm her personal tutor for our major subjects and english. She was absent on thursday's exams...so she's taking special exams this tuesday and wednesday. So after her math, I will help her with the psychology bits and pieces, to push her grades up! Not what you're thinking dirty minded lot.
My parents are coming to philippines this halloween Oct.31, and then on Nov. 1 we'll be going to my mom's province along with KF. Nov. 8, we'll be going to my dad's province, kf as well going along.
And then from nov. 3 onwards until my mom leaves, my mom will be willing to teach her tagalog! And me malay!
Yeahs, but after those tutoring we'll go out and mall around. Like we planned of course, go out alot during sembreak! *grins*
My classes resumes this Nov.10, and heck me and kf will be classmates now since I've shift from psych to biology now.
Anyways, I've recovered from my nonsense thinking last night...which disturbed me somehow. So yes, it finally stopped, my mind is at ease now.
Yeas, we got alot of plans to do like that road trip and malling around. Sembreak has never been this good!
Thank god I've recovered from my nonsense thinking otherwise I would be depressed today.
I feel great somehow.
But I must relax and rest up to tomorrow as monday will be my check up day.
So buhbyes!
And i'm getting my check up including scan this monday, KF coming along.
I have to help KF with her psychology after her math exam...yes I'm her personal tutor for our major subjects and english. She was absent on thursday's exams...so she's taking special exams this tuesday and wednesday. So after her math, I will help her with the psychology bits and pieces, to push her grades up! Not what you're thinking dirty minded lot.
My parents are coming to philippines this halloween Oct.31, and then on Nov. 1 we'll be going to my mom's province along with KF. Nov. 8, we'll be going to my dad's province, kf as well going along.
And then from nov. 3 onwards until my mom leaves, my mom will be willing to teach her tagalog! And me malay!
Yeahs, but after those tutoring we'll go out and mall around. Like we planned of course, go out alot during sembreak! *grins*
My classes resumes this Nov.10, and heck me and kf will be classmates now since I've shift from psych to biology now.
Anyways, I've recovered from my nonsense thinking last night...which disturbed me somehow. So yes, it finally stopped, my mind is at ease now.
Yeas, we got alot of plans to do like that road trip and malling around. Sembreak has never been this good!
Thank god I've recovered from my nonsense thinking otherwise I would be depressed today.
I feel great somehow.
But I must relax and rest up to tomorrow as monday will be my check up day.
So buhbyes!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Will it be still the same?
Will it be still the same?
That is the question, will it be?
Since most of my friends already knows about my heart problem,
And all the family knows about it
And various teachers as well.
I still don't know will it still be the same as it was before?
That you might be concerned and worried about my heart condition,
I know that my heart problem may even kill me (I read further).
It is worrying,
But I want to know will it be still the same between you and me?
My friend?
Will it be?
I wish it will always be,
Let us forget that I do have a heart problem,
And let always as it is.
Why?
Thinking about my heart problem will bring sorrow and darken your days,
All I want you is to be happy and be glad.
Side by side?
Hand in hand?
Always don't leave my side...
And always let it be the same always.
Mini Update: I read further about my heart problem and condition, it can kill me..that's the sad part that I found out.
I have turned full-time vegan overnight.
I cant drink coffee anymore T.T
Everyone (the ones I've told, emailed and who read this blog) is worried...which is bothering me. I dont want everyone to worry about me, I just want it to be like it as always be before finding out that I have a heart problem. Just let it be the same...
KF and I had lunch in my house yesterday after our pilipino exam. Next week or so we might go malling again.
I'm getting a scan after I enroll for second semester, KF might come along as morale support but she has english class T.T
Exams is this week so expect me not to blog within this week.
I'm on diet.
PeeWee the mouse is still alive and I havent thrown the dead frog MeeWee.
Anyways I gotta go.
Ciao...
To friends: Dont worry too much. I'm fine! I'm still me! =)
That is the question, will it be?
Since most of my friends already knows about my heart problem,
And all the family knows about it
And various teachers as well.
I still don't know will it still be the same as it was before?
That you might be concerned and worried about my heart condition,
I know that my heart problem may even kill me (I read further).
It is worrying,
But I want to know will it be still the same between you and me?
My friend?
Will it be?
I wish it will always be,
Let us forget that I do have a heart problem,
And let always as it is.
Why?
Thinking about my heart problem will bring sorrow and darken your days,
All I want you is to be happy and be glad.
Side by side?
Hand in hand?
Always don't leave my side...
And always let it be the same always.
Mini Update: I read further about my heart problem and condition, it can kill me..that's the sad part that I found out.
I have turned full-time vegan overnight.
I cant drink coffee anymore T.T
Everyone (the ones I've told, emailed and who read this blog) is worried...which is bothering me. I dont want everyone to worry about me, I just want it to be like it as always be before finding out that I have a heart problem. Just let it be the same...
KF and I had lunch in my house yesterday after our pilipino exam. Next week or so we might go malling again.
I'm getting a scan after I enroll for second semester, KF might come along as morale support but she has english class T.T
Exams is this week so expect me not to blog within this week.
I'm on diet.
PeeWee the mouse is still alive and I havent thrown the dead frog MeeWee.
Anyways I gotta go.
Ciao...
To friends: Dont worry too much. I'm fine! I'm still me! =)
Friday, October 10, 2008
As it beats
Here is the update from today's check up:
Guys,
I do have an irregular heart beat. The synode and electrical pulse is irregular which affects my brain and other parts of the body because of the blood and elctrical pulses not being able to reach certain areas of the body. Which could sometimes affect my emotions, mood, and focus and so on. I now have to get an ECG and a scan of the heart to find the organic problem and be able to fix the problem which I am hoping through medication not by surgery...pacemaker. The advice I received is to consult my family doctor for further analysis and I have to avoid over tiring myself and too much physical activity...
God help me...
Note: My heart beat is like this: fast then normal and then fast and then normal. Yeasterday was worrying which the nurse and doctor told me today, it was: slow normal fast normal slow. And I have high blood pressure...
I was a happy man today, better than ever emotionally...but health side of things...worries me slightly...Been telling my friends and classmates not to worry, I'll be fine...but will I be?
I'm praying that I am fine.
I don't want to die too soon, no I don't.
I'm still single and never have been in a relationship...
Guys,
I do have an irregular heart beat. The synode and electrical pulse is irregular which affects my brain and other parts of the body because of the blood and elctrical pulses not being able to reach certain areas of the body. Which could sometimes affect my emotions, mood, and focus and so on. I now have to get an ECG and a scan of the heart to find the organic problem and be able to fix the problem which I am hoping through medication not by surgery...pacemaker. The advice I received is to consult my family doctor for further analysis and I have to avoid over tiring myself and too much physical activity...
God help me...
Note: My heart beat is like this: fast then normal and then fast and then normal. Yeasterday was worrying which the nurse and doctor told me today, it was: slow normal fast normal slow. And I have high blood pressure...
I was a happy man today, better than ever emotionally...but health side of things...worries me slightly...Been telling my friends and classmates not to worry, I'll be fine...but will I be?
I'm praying that I am fine.
I don't want to die too soon, no I don't.
I'm still single and never have been in a relationship...
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Possible
Today I have consulted the university's nurse, to check me up. So today I found out that I might have a possible heart problem. It is because my heart rhythm or beat is irregular, meaning its slow and then normal and then fast. It's like not following a proper beat.
So yes, it's worrying. I know. Tomorrow morning I'm meeting the university's doctor, for a proper check up. So now, all I am hoping that you would pray that I don't have a heart problem...because I know my condition is worrying but I don't want to be...you know hospitalized due to this heart condition...So I'm asking from you is just to please pray for me and hope that i don't have a heart problem.
Thanks guys
Note: I hate my gloomy mood just now...now I'm better emotionlly but health wise....i don't think so.
So yes, it's worrying. I know. Tomorrow morning I'm meeting the university's doctor, for a proper check up. So now, all I am hoping that you would pray that I don't have a heart problem...because I know my condition is worrying but I don't want to be...you know hospitalized due to this heart condition...So I'm asking from you is just to please pray for me and hope that i don't have a heart problem.
Thanks guys
Note: I hate my gloomy mood just now...now I'm better emotionlly but health wise....i don't think so.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Old Self
Hello old self, how are you?
I'm good joseph, you?
Quite disturbed but I'm fine,
How so disturbed?
Nonsense thoughts, disturbing dreams, emootions and feelings,
About?
I don't really want to talk about it, I don't my friends to worry about me too much now,
I see,
Well, old self. I kinda miss you,
Really? You miss the loneliness you would feel?
Yes, I do somehow.
The loneliness you felt during IB? when you went so low becoming emotional?
Yes, that. I miss.
So, why don't you come back to me? your old self?
It's depressing if I do.
But you've been talking to me last thursday, if you havent noticed before you talked to kf
I know that, I talked to you. And you were right anyways.
Joseph, I'm your old self. You can come back anytime you want,
No. I don't want to.
But are you happy with your new self? I know you've changed since IB, abandoning me.
I dont know.
Really? Are you sure? You're back to where you thanks to me.
I'm sure I am capable what I can do. Besides, I'm liking my new self so far.
I see, but be sure. You listen to your old music.
You mean linkin park and nickelback?
Yes. that. To keep in touch with me.
Okay, I will.
And stop thinking nonsense things as an advice from your friends and from me. And ignore your bad dreams just like kf said, don't mind those dreams you'll worry even more than you are. And stop worrying her, you talked to her too much about how you feel lately, you'll just worry her you know.
Yes my old self i shall.
Great talking to you.
Yeash. Nice talking to you again.
Remember, I'm within you, you can talk to me when need me.
Yea. See you.
Bye
[This has to be my most disturbing post I've typed, I'm actually talking to my old personality...disturbing yes....]
I'm good joseph, you?
Quite disturbed but I'm fine,
How so disturbed?
Nonsense thoughts, disturbing dreams, emootions and feelings,
About?
I don't really want to talk about it, I don't my friends to worry about me too much now,
I see,
Well, old self. I kinda miss you,
Really? You miss the loneliness you would feel?
Yes, I do somehow.
The loneliness you felt during IB? when you went so low becoming emotional?
Yes, that. I miss.
So, why don't you come back to me? your old self?
It's depressing if I do.
But you've been talking to me last thursday, if you havent noticed before you talked to kf
I know that, I talked to you. And you were right anyways.
Joseph, I'm your old self. You can come back anytime you want,
No. I don't want to.
But are you happy with your new self? I know you've changed since IB, abandoning me.
I dont know.
Really? Are you sure? You're back to where you thanks to me.
I'm sure I am capable what I can do. Besides, I'm liking my new self so far.
I see, but be sure. You listen to your old music.
You mean linkin park and nickelback?
Yes. that. To keep in touch with me.
Okay, I will.
And stop thinking nonsense things as an advice from your friends and from me. And ignore your bad dreams just like kf said, don't mind those dreams you'll worry even more than you are. And stop worrying her, you talked to her too much about how you feel lately, you'll just worry her you know.
Yes my old self i shall.
Great talking to you.
Yeash. Nice talking to you again.
Remember, I'm within you, you can talk to me when need me.
Yea. See you.
Bye
[This has to be my most disturbing post I've typed, I'm actually talking to my old personality...disturbing yes....]
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Two Poems
These two poems I dedicated to KF, see already these two. So ya.
My Promise
This is my promise to you,
Through times when you need help,
I'll be there,
I promise,
Through times you need someone to be there,
I will be,
I promise,
Through times you need support,
I will be,
I promise,
Through times of sorrow and loneliness,
I'm here for you,
I promise,
Through times of joy and laughter,
Let's make it memorable,
I promise,
Through times you are hurt,
I'm here to listen,
I promise,
Through times you need to be protected,
I will protect you,
I promise,
Through all these times,
All of your life,
All of many,
I will promise you,
I'm here,
To be with you,
No matter what,
Why?
My dear friend,
I love you,
I am glad I met you,
I can forget my loneliness and sorrow,
When I'm with you,
This is how much I value,
My friendship with you,
Because I care,
I'm an understanding person,
No matter what,
I'll listen to your problems,
And let me tell you,
Isn't it great to know you've got a friend,
Someone like me to be with you,
Through it all,
I'm with you,
Side by side,
I promise
Glad
Glad and happy I am,
To know and to have,
A friend like you,
I can forget,
All of my loneliness,
All of my sorrow,
As I'm with you,
I no longer have to worry,
No more loneliness,
No more sorrow,
I'm glad I'm with you,
No more to worry,
No more sorrow,
You are with me,
I'm with you,
My friend,
You are my close,
And best friend,
Glad that I am,
Glad I have you,
Glad you are with me.
This next one is called Falling Leaves.
Falling Leaves
As every leaf that falls,
It foretells a story,
A story of it;s life,
Stories that many may not understand,
But few may understand,
The sorrow,
The loneliness,
The joy
And happiness,
Falling very slowly,
From it's mother,
Being free,
Free and gailiently,
In the airm
Twist and turn,
It fell elegantly,
As it fall,
It reaches it's home,
Returning back home,
Where it started,
Home in it's mother's womb,
Back to it's home,
Life will begin anew,
A new life,
A new home,
A new hope
As the saying goes,
'Falling leaves return to it's roots'
That's it!
small update: I got exam! Chem oral, quizes this monday! joy.
My Promise
This is my promise to you,
Through times when you need help,
I'll be there,
I promise,
Through times you need someone to be there,
I will be,
I promise,
Through times you need support,
I will be,
I promise,
Through times of sorrow and loneliness,
I'm here for you,
I promise,
Through times of joy and laughter,
Let's make it memorable,
I promise,
Through times you are hurt,
I'm here to listen,
I promise,
Through times you need to be protected,
I will protect you,
I promise,
Through all these times,
All of your life,
All of many,
I will promise you,
I'm here,
To be with you,
No matter what,
Why?
My dear friend,
I love you,
I am glad I met you,
I can forget my loneliness and sorrow,
When I'm with you,
This is how much I value,
My friendship with you,
Because I care,
I'm an understanding person,
No matter what,
I'll listen to your problems,
And let me tell you,
Isn't it great to know you've got a friend,
Someone like me to be with you,
Through it all,
I'm with you,
Side by side,
I promise
Glad
Glad and happy I am,
To know and to have,
A friend like you,
I can forget,
All of my loneliness,
All of my sorrow,
As I'm with you,
I no longer have to worry,
No more loneliness,
No more sorrow,
I'm glad I'm with you,
No more to worry,
No more sorrow,
You are with me,
I'm with you,
My friend,
You are my close,
And best friend,
Glad that I am,
Glad I have you,
Glad you are with me.
This next one is called Falling Leaves.
Falling Leaves
As every leaf that falls,
It foretells a story,
A story of it;s life,
Stories that many may not understand,
But few may understand,
The sorrow,
The loneliness,
The joy
And happiness,
Falling very slowly,
From it's mother,
Being free,
Free and gailiently,
In the airm
Twist and turn,
It fell elegantly,
As it fall,
It reaches it's home,
Returning back home,
Where it started,
Home in it's mother's womb,
Back to it's home,
Life will begin anew,
A new life,
A new home,
A new hope
As the saying goes,
'Falling leaves return to it's roots'
That's it!
small update: I got exam! Chem oral, quizes this monday! joy.
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