My Anger

When I get angry,

My body automatically holds it,

I may look calm in the outside with a fake smile,

But,

Inside my heart beats rapidly,

I would be shaking in anger,

I would be feeling pain in my heart,

Anger screaming to burst,

I hold it,

I hold it,

I then burst into tears slowly,

I'm still holding it.

It's my treaty upon myself,

Never to be angry,

And Hold my anger.

Until this day,

I'm shaking in anger when I'm angry,

And I would be holding it.

Update:

Just learned on thursday last week, I asked my Psychology Prof whether holding anger is bad. She said it is. In which, holding one's anger is bad as it's risk to heart disease. I think or got a feeling that my compulsive shaking and anger feelings being held in is risking me to heart disease....which is now I'm scared of. I still have pain in my heart whenever I'm angry and I begin to shake, this happens whenever I hold it.

My prof's advice? relesae all the anger I have within me...I told myself "Are you serious? I've been holding my anger for so long and now I have to relsease it? How am I suppose to do that?" My Prof said to punch something many times I want or find a ways to release it...I decided to hold it for now until one day, I can release my anger.

Been told that I don't deserve to suffer nor be in pain. (I'm not going to say who said that but it was someone I was chatting to the other day...and no it's not my KF)

I finished all my research papers...I can breathe easily now.

Anyways, I recovering from my depression...slowly of course.