As The Leaves Fall Part 1

As I read Fallinmg Leaves, it makes me wonder about my faternal grandmother. How did my Faternal Grandmother lived her life? Why she didn't taught my dad or children chinese? Why did she hid her chinese name? And then change it? Is it because the social status in cold war? Where the Chinese were considered by many Pro-American supporters as the 'Minority'? What was her family was like?

As I read falling leaves, I can put the chinese people in the philippines during those times, into Adeline. I can see such symbolism that connects well with some of my dad's stories of his experience with my grandmother. Such as, planning sending my dad to Taiwan to study at Chiang Kai-Shek University, which didn't happen due to that social boundary and status which annoys me, but now it's the other way round. And as well the social boundaries and status being of being considered the 'Minority" and look whose laughing now! [Laughs sinsterly like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers]

I'll tell you how I met my faternal grandmother, which only once in my life time. I met her around December 2001, my dad surprisingly took us (me, my mom and my maternal grandparents) to his mom's place in his hometown. I sat in their living room, looking at pictures, it was shock to me that basically that many of their faces looked quite chinese. Like me. So we waited. After a few minutes, I was astonished how old she was. Eighty-Nine or Ninety something, I can't remember clearly. Her face was frail and aging, and very chinese. Much more chinese than filipino even though quite tannish skin. Her eyes filled with tears as I hugged her for the first time and mano (mano is in respect to my relatives, godparents and close family friends, where one young one must take the right hand and place the top of their hand onto his/her forehead as a sign of respect). She was very happy. Smiling and excited to see her grandson for the first and last time.
After a year upon meeting her, she died a natural peaceful death (god bless her soul). I didn't attend the funeral, why you ask? I was still young, I still didn't have the courage to look at a dead body. But I had my moment of silence. It was a long silence. My grandparents kept me company, telling me that she was happy to see me for the first time and she died happily from seeing me at last. Also she would want to see me happy.
On the way back to brunei, while in the terminal in the Philippinese. I cried my heart out all of the sudden. It's like the tears I reserved bust out! People looked me and my dad, all I did was continue crying until I reached home. After that incident, Philippine Airlines never travelled to brunei ever again. My fault I know.
At school after this tragedy, I was quiet and hid my sorrow as I told my mom not to give me a black armband. I rather hide my sorrow and expose it, sadly enough, no one in school noticed my extreme quietness. I felt no comforting matter. I was given more courage to move on.

Now, I want to learn more about my Faternal Grandmother. I really want to know her full chinese name. I want to know alittle more about her. Reading Falling Leaves, made think about it. I wondered now and more often. My plan? Maybe I would go back to my dad's hometown, in their house. I'll do my research on finding the history of faternal mother. She's the only real connection my chinese side, and also the reason why I want to be more chinese than Filipino, but my nationality is Filipino but I'll proudly say I am Chinese Filipino, my dad is filipino chinese(but doesn't know how to speak chinese) and my mom a filipino (with some chinese blood). My objective? Improve my mandarin is now one of my top priorities.

And may I say, Falling Leaves is becoming an instant favorite of mine now. It basically made me wonder about my Faternal Grandmother.

Update:
Miri trip looks grim, my parents are edgy with budgeting of money for philippines. Recitals next week Friday Night, if anyone wants to come please tell me. My mom has a new mobile phone (wuupee....), now have to put mp3 songs. I again forgot to go to school today to borrow mandarin CD4 and book 3 and 4, for my reference and attempting to improve my mandarin whenever I have frees in Philippines. I couldn't finish my 4 disc RPG xbox 360 game, disc 4 freezes! must change tomorrow. Last night, I had trouble sleeping. I basically couldn't sleep until I put my blindfold glasses then I fell asleep. Will meet up with my friends to watch the new Jet Li and Jackie Chan Movie! Forbidden Kingdom, I predict there'll be more physics defying martial arts!

Notes:
A thank you for Lu Wee for recommending me this book, A BIG THANK YOU!
Friends who wants to know my homephone number and address in the philippines tell me and I'll email you! Mobile phone soon maybe
Friends who wants japanese receipes, tell me and I'll hit the forward button!
Recital date is 25th April 2008, 7pm. I'll tell you where it is if you are coming, It's an open invitation by the way.
My flight is 21st May 2008, 10:30pm departure. Come see me as I fly! then return next year april for my summer break in brunei!