Taken from http://www.goodquotes.com/stupidquotes.htm and http://www.goodquotes.com/sillyquotes.htm some funny quotes, so enjoy the ones i choosen:
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?" - Driver school applicant
"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush, former U.S. President
"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
"Permitted vehicles not allowed." - Road sign on US 27
"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt - prepare for accident." - Sign on backseat of Taxi
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
Drive carefully, 90% of people are accidents.
"don't drink and drive you might spill your beer"
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON" - Man of the Year movie
"You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial."--Homer Simpson from the Simpsons
You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. - Homer Simpson from...you should know
"Is tuna really Chicken?" - Jessica Simpson, after reading "Tuna, Chicken of the sea"
"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous
Roses are red, violets are blue, please flush the toilet, after you.
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" - errr.......hmmmm Unknown
"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose"
"A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation"
Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
"I had gone searching for the truth, and found facts instead. I hate that." --Anonymous
"You'll earn thousands of dollars daily by doing nothing." --Found on a piece of paper in a Fortune Cookie .
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.-- Pablo Picasso
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window--Steve Wozniak
now imagine these as bumper stickers http://www.goodquotes.com/bumperstickers.htm
"Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
I break for........................OH SHIT NO BRAKES
IF THIS STICKER IS GETTING SMALLER, THE LIGHT IS PROBABLY GREEN
YOUR TURN SIGNAL IS STILL ON
IT'S IMPOLITE TO STARE
U.S.M.C. UNCLE SAMS MISGUIDED CHILDREN
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
Adults are just kids with money.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Back Up My Hard Drive? How Do I Put It In Reverse?
CAUTION! I drive like you do!
Caution: I brake for no apparent reason.
Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED
Welcome to reality...come again soon.
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more.
Honk if you are blond.
Honk if you hate noise pollution!
Honk if you like peace and quiet.
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA -- AND STEP ON IT !!
And finally Poem(s)!! from jokes2go.com
The National Anthem of Windows Nation
In honor of the new Windows Flag above the corporate campus:
OLE can you C, by the fonts of TrueType,
What so proudly we mailed to our users upgrading?
Whose class libs and tool bars, through the marketing hype,
Four meg RAM cards they'd bought, final beta awaiting.
And the testers declare, fix the bugs on the share,
Codeview'd every byte of our way cool software.
Oh, say does that user friendly icon yet wave
O'er the land of the GUI,
and the Windows of the brave.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
That's it...yeash it's a loong post but if you're offender, then I appologized for posting something offensive.
Jia-ne!
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